So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize