ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
