your room smells of hookers.
And success
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
