white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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