She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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