Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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