Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
