remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize