And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's official drugs can't kill me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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