We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
