he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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