I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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