In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
