You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
