what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
