do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
