Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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