She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
