Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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