I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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