I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
