and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
