these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
