I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize