I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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