I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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