I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
