there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
