**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize