these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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