textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
