he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
