This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
