my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
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Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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