super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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