wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize