She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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