You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
