I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
