i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
