So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize