You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
