I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
