Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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