I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
