I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
