ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
