So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
