I can tuck mytits in my pants
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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