yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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