yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize