I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Congratulations! We have a period
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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