I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think i have herpe
just one?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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