let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
