he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
