her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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