he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize