You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
