I'm really into asian looking animals
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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