Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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