she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
