i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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