she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
