you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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